Summer Saturdays In Havelock
Summer Saturdays In HavelockThe four of us would pile into the carpushing and shoving for a window seat.Mom always looked unhappy. (Though not farto drive, we thought she couldn't bear the heat.)While...
View ArticleRe: Summer Saturdays In Havelock
This touches on an almost universal rite of summer and preserves the child's viewpoint. Nebraska is about as far west as the Heartland goes, but it seems central to me. Some may hear a slight slip...
View ArticleRe: Summer Saturdays In Havelock
Hi Vaughn.Old Les Purser, lazy curl of smoke rising from the tip of his rollyerown, shaping the short back'n'sides with a swift pair of scissors; stopping to strop the cutthroat before lathering the...
View ArticleRe: Summer Saturdays In Havelock
Oh, Vaughn, I just love it when you get nostalgic. Ah, mischief on the railroad tracks, the summer day haircut -- sure hope these are leading to a series. Delightful!My enjoyment of reading this...
View ArticleRe: Summer Saturdays In Havelock
Vaughn--I enjoyed this vignette. The volta is pushed back to the last four lines, with the introduction of the threatening barber (hints of Melville's "Benito Cereno" and Roethke's "Papa's Waltz"),...
View ArticleRe: Summer Saturdays In Havelock
Thanks, Frank, Peter, Mary and Eric. I fell into my midwestern speech patterns in writing this. It's funny, although Nebraska is known for its general lack of dialect, there are definite mannerisms....
View ArticleRe: Summer Saturdays In Havelock
Vaughn,Didn't have a problem with the grammar, but I'm from Indiana & Colorado. I love the mom not being able to take the heat of the obnoxious kids. Great poem. Could it use a comma after "again"...
View ArticleRe: Summer Saturdays In Havelock
Kristi, glad you got the "take the heat" bit. I'd feel honored to have my poem on the wall at Chuck's. Vaughn
View ArticleRe: Summer Saturdays In Havelock
Here's a revision. I tried to fix the meter in a few places, but added a syllable to line 2 (oops!). Are lines 3 & 4 stronger? Worse?Thanks.The four of us would pile into the car,kicking and...
View ArticleRe: Summer Saturdays In Havelock
Vfritts, How about,"with kicks and shoves to get a window seat" for L2 ? I actually like both versions of this. This is a "Norman Rockwell" sonnet to the nth degree. Great job. Patrice G
View ArticleRe: Summer Saturdays In Havelock
Thanks, Patrice. I like your suggestion for line 2. Vaughn
View ArticleRe: Summer Saturdays In Havelock
Vaughn, good job. I usually prefer tangible details like the Joyo and Hershey, but I miss Mom's heat in the revision; it has a more immediate, universal impact. I loved the "gum cigar/chew the fat"...
View ArticleRe: Summer Saturdays In Havelock
I like the whole premise...the pictures this conjures up are wonderful!! Second version with the Patrice line 2 makes for a great read...much enjoyed!!Every new beginning comes from some other...
View Article
